Friday, February 14, 2014

Top 10 Anti-Valentine's Day Movies


Hello, Bloggers, since I haven't done a top ten list in a while, I figured that somewhat in the spirit of Valentine's Day, I'd compile my list of the Top 10 Anti-Valentine's Day Movies, or the top 10 films that prove just how much love can stink and doesn't always end up like a Meg Ryan or Julia Roberts movie.

Here we go:


10. May: First up on my list is an underrated horror gem known as May, which deals with a lonely woman who after she is tired of being rejected and hurt, decides to make her own "friend" out of human body parts. It's actually a really solid film and I would recommend it if you are a lover of horror films like I am.


9. Breaking the Waves: Next up is the gem that I have spoken very highly of that is Breaking The Waves. While it does show the lengths that one will go for love, the film demonstrates what rough lengths the main character has to go through to prove her love for her husband: Trying to bang other men since her husband is paralyzed from the neck down. Plus, the beginning of the film shows what great chemistry these two characters have and that makes the circumstances they go through even harder to swallow.


8. Mulholland Dr.: Since this film is a mixture of both dream and reality, it does showcase how love can be a crazy fantasy. Especially since one of the main characters, Diane, played by Naomi Watts is in love with an actress who just gets a kick out of upsetting her and driving her over the edge. What makes that even sadder is that this actress seems pretty aware that Diane is in love with her. Seems some people have no concern over other people's feelings when it comes to love.


7. Edward Scissorhands: Tim Burton's best film to date, Edward Scissorhands shows just how much love sucks when you literally can't touch your significant other. The film of course deals with a man who has scissors for hands and shows that even when a guy like him sort of gets the girl in the end, it still doesn't necessarily have a happy ending. Nowadays, the ending always gets to me.


6. Brokeback Mountain: Not only does this film show how much love sucks, but how much society tends to suck. The film deals with two gay cowboys who keep trying to end up together but one of them recognizes that if they were caught holding hands in the wrong place, it wouldn't end well for them, so they just always meet up at the titular Brokeback Mountain and would go on to live up to the societal expectations of marrying women and having children even though they are not straight. See, not only does love stink, but people stink.


5. Valentine: Next up is another rather underrated horror gem that is the slasher flick Valentine starring Denise Richards and David Boreanaz. The film deals with four friends who get picked off one by one by a killer who may or not be someone they rejected at a Valentine's Day school dance years ago. Along with May, this film shows just how careful on whose heart you break in a not very subtle way. In other words, it shows to be careful to break someone's heart in a harsh and nasty manner.


4. Sunset Boulevard: While this film isn't exactly a love story, it does deal with a romance, so it still counts. It deals with a young screenwriter who has a somewhat romantic relationship with a fading movie star named who turns out to have serious abandonment issues. That's why her butler always sticks with her and the film's main character struggles to get away from her. Not to spoil it, but things don't end well with either of them.


3. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: One of the more unconventional love stories in recent memory, Eternal Sunshine showcases something that most love stories these days don't: realistic flawed human beings. It doesn't just show how love stinks for the main couple who try to wipe out their memories of each other, but some of the other main characters as well, like the nerdy guy who gets laid, but the girl only views him as a friend and would rather channel her feelings towards their much older boss. That is very plausible because their are women like that. Not all of them, but some of them. So, the film as a whole shows how love can be a pain.


2. A Streetcar Named Desire: A classic that is a rather unconventional choice for an Anti-Valentine's Day film, A Streetcar Named Desire deals with a main character who yearns to be loved and whose sister is married to a brutish and very dominant man. So, the film goes to show how their are plenty of people who are married to or date creeps that are difficult to get away from. Even when love is hard for those who are alone, it is also a pain in the butt for those that have a significant other.


1. Fatal Attraction: The most "Anti" of all Anti-Valentine's Day Movies, Fatal Attraction is very much Exhibit A on why NOT to cheat on your spouse. You never know how much someone hates the thought of being rejected or alone. Just ask Alex Forrest if she were real, or just watch the film.


Here are also a few honorable mentions that couldn't quite make it on this list:

Misery (1990)
Election (1999)
My Bloody Valentine (1981)
American Beauty (1999)
Basic Instinct (1992)
Her (2013)

So, that was my list of the top 10 Anti-Valentine's Day Movies and if there is anything you'd like to add to the list or if you agree or disagree with any of my picks, please feel free to write in the comments section. Thanks for reading, and Happy Valentine's Day!